#12: We are not freeloaders

I don't think I have ever been more shocked or outraged by someone's story than I was by the one Julie* shared with me, last week. Julie is a sweet lady who comes to our home 4 times a month to work with one of our younger children. She is an Education Intervention mentor who helps our child with social, emotional, and occupational skills in order to prepare him for Pre-K. May the Lord bless her soul for being patient enough with our rambunctious 4-year-old to actually teach him something. Whew!

Julie shared with me, last week, that her 20 year old son has spina bifida. You can read all about this birth defect, here:

http://www.spinabifidaassociation.org/site/c.evKRI7OXIoJ8H/b.8028963/k.BE67/Home.html

When her son, James,* was a baby, Julie and her husband made $25,000, total. I don't mean she made $25,000 and he made $25,000. I mean, their combined, yearly income was $25,000. Obviously, this is not enough money to keep up with the demands of a 5 person household, even in the '90's, much less pay the ever-increasing pile of hospital bills resulting from their child's treatments. So, she and her husband applied for government assistance and disability.

They were denied.

They made too much money.

Until their doctors finally declared James "medically incompetent" at age 4, and allowed Julie's family to receive Medicaid and other benefits for James, Julie and her family struggled to keep up, financially. She said that one year, the government even seized their $4,000 tax return as payment for their past due bills. Though she and her husband were doing the best they could, paying $15 to each bill, each month, and living off of $25 a week, they were still unable to make ends meet.

But the welfare system declined them for the first 4 years of their son's life.

Julie has a case load of 22 kids that she sees for services, each month. She described how one of her families has a child that was just diagnosed with autism. As a result, the family is given a monthly stipend of over $700 for services for their child. This money can go toward any of the child's needs, and a portion can even go toward helping with family expenses and bills. To top it off, they were given back-dated support, because the mother had been filing for this assistance for several months. Her total first installment was over $5000.

I could not even begin to compare one illness/disorder/disease to another, nor begin to determine how and why one might generate more financial expense than the other. But I find it unbelievable that one mother is able to receive thousands of dollars to cover the expenses of her child's needs, while another gets nothing. Can you imagine what that check would've looked like if Julie had been able to receive back-dated support for 4 years?!

Julie said when she saw that family, last week, the mom was bragging about her tanning bed membership and her new hair-do.

Another family Julie services lives in a home "littered with beer cans and bottles," but each parent has a laptop, big screen TV, and they drive SUV's. Neither of the parents work.

In both cases, Julie received Medicaid as the family's form of medical insurance. She knows they receive other government benefits because the families make no attempt to hide this fact, and actually appear to be very proud of this. The mother who got the lump sum check even complained that her food stamp benefits had been decreased to $60 a month.

"Well, at least she gets that! I don't magically get $60 added to my bank account every month!"

SHOCKING and APPALLING.

Unfortunately, while not everyone benefits from government assistance in this way, I do believe that cases like these are the norm, though this is not what was intended with the start of the welfare system. Government assistance was designed to help those who either were unable to care for themselves due to illness, injury, or old age, and to help those who had fallen on hard times. Not to serve as a "free ride through life" like it is, today.

Again, I do not believe all people receiving benefits are using them for irresponsible, selfish purposes.

I personally know someone who was enrolled in a 4 year college but was unable to work, due to her class load. She decided to apply for food stamps while she was student teaching, just to help herself out until she graduated. Anyone who is familiar with this program knows that student teaching is exactly like teaching, but without pay. It takes up at least 6-8 hours of your day, on top of  night classes, which makes it nearly impossible to work. Unfortunately, though she was paying a mortgage and had various other bills, she did not qualify for any assistance at all. Why? She had no dependents (children) and was receiving too many grants and loans....all of which were going to pay for her college courses.

Obviously, the welfare system now rewards those who do not work, attempt to try and better their living situation, or become active members of society. The above-mentioned college student went to school to earn her degree in Education, where she now teaches 3rd grade at a PUBLIC, GOVERNMENT FUNDED SCHOOL. Yet, this is the same government that refused to help her when she was in a financial crunch in college, earning a degree to one day work for them!

I would love to sit at home with my children all day, eat whatever I wanted, play on my computer, and drive a fancy car. I can't even tell you when I last got a real, salon hair cut (I'm not talking about the $10 special at Great Clips, y'all), or even considered having enough extra income to afford a tanning bed membership! But if someone was offering me all these things FOR FREE, you better believe I would be tempted to shout, "Where do I sign?!"

But where is the dignity in that? Where is the sense of pride and self-worth that comes from a job well done? Where are family values, morals, and integrity?

Those things do not come cheap, and are certainly not FREE.

I want to leave my children and family a legacy of hard work, service to others, and good stewardship. I want them to understand that nothing of true value can ever be priced or bought, and that the best things in life ARE NOT FREE. The freedoms we enjoy, games won, degrees earned, jobs secured, families raised, and lives lived require payment in hard work, blood, sweat, and tears of passionate individuals and families that believe in MORE than the temporal satisfaction of material possessions.

There is nothing better than being able to provide for your family and maybe even having a little left over, at the end of the month. But to do so with your own hands is invaluable.

I pray that my children will learn from the stories like that of Julie and her son James. It is always ok to ask for help when needed. But it is not ok to accept help without actively participating in the help received. Nor is it ok to accept help without committing to pay it forward.

I pray that the Lord will give my husband and me the strength, determination, and bravery to continue to show our children, in a world of entitlement, the benefit of hard work, and the value of EARNING rather than simply receiving. I pray that our attempts will reach beyond the things we can see, taste, and touch in this lifetime, extending to eternity where Kaylee and Christopher will learn to "store up treasures in Heaven." I pray that our children will find their true reward is not what man gives them, thinks of them, or desires from them, but that which is from our Heavenly Father.

 For the Lord gives freely, but not unjustly.

(*Names have been changed to protect privacy)