My answer is always the same:
By the Grace of God
Because it's such a large part of my life (What am I talking about? It IS my life!), I will definitely be sharing stories, snippets, blurbs, and many of the lessons I have learned since becoming Mommy to my own 2, as well as the foster children God has brought into our lives. It really is a blessing, and we are very fortunate to get to be a part of the work God is doing in the lives of abused and neglected children.
But to start us off, and to fully squelch any thoughts you may have had about foster parents being "Super Parents," "Saint-like," or "Gifted," (all titles that have been used to describe my husband and me over the years), here is a brief look back at last Wednesday.....
Each month, we plan a day to visit our county's food bank. This isn't your typical church or community food pantry; this is the Mecca of all food banks. They have cases and cases of Little Debbies (which usually end up on my hips and thighs), bags and bags of potato chips from every store you can think of, canned goods, frozen pizzas, popsicles, frozen chicken, pork, hamburger patties....the list is literally unending. These are all foods that the stores can longer sell because there is not enough demand, they will expire soon, or the season is over (i.e. the 6 trays of chocolate boxes they were unable to sell after Valentine's Day). The best thing about the food bank is that we can get tons of food (on a recent trip we, literally, purchased A TON of food), at almost no cost. With lots of hungry mouths to feed, and a very tight budget, being allowed to use the food bank is a tremendous blessing. On his last trip, Chris filled up our 15 passenger van, floor to ceiling, for $130. Take that, Extreme Couponers! And I didn't even need a coupon! :)
So, Wednesday was Food Bank Day.
As you can imagine, traveling to and from the food bank, loading and unloading the van, attempting to find a place to put all the food in your tiny pantry, AND supervising a 4 yr old and 13 month old can get a little crazy. That was just our morning.
On Wednesdays, Chris takes 2 of our boys to their weekly counseling appointment. He gets them from school around 12:50pm and heads over to the counselor's office where they participate in play therapy for 2 hours. He is usually home by 3:15pm. Not too bad, since we've worked out arrangements for getting our other children home: 1 from head start gets picked up by the other house parents at 2:30pm, I leave to get our daughter from school by 2:45pm, all other elementary kids get home at 3:15pm via the school bus, and our 2 middle school guys get off their bus at 4:30pm. Easy enough. We do it every week. Though I'm still up to my eyelids in cardboard boxes from the food bank, with 2 kids napping, we can make it work. Sure we can!
*Not if the counseling appointment before yours runs over time.
*Not if the adult in the counseling appointment with the child is the house mom at the other house.
*Not if the spouse of the house mom, who is supposed to pick up the kids from head start, is currently running errands in town with no car seats.
At 2:15pm, after just getting the 2 little ones up from their naps, I get a call that goes like this:
House Dad: Hey, Jessica. Am I supposed to go get the kids from head start, today, or are y'all?
Me (in the middle of changing a diaper, with my 4 yr old whining at my heel, thinking in my head "um, yeah you are, that's why we have a schedule"): Um......well, I think it's your turn today.
House Dad: Oh, I didn't know since my wife is at the counseling appointment and I am in town running errands. She has our van with car seats and I would hate to have to go get the kids with no car seats.
Me (struggling to snap every..... last....... button on the baby's outfit while shushing my son so I can hear, because I'm pretty sure I didn't just hear what I thought I just heard on the other end of the phone): Well, I guess I could go get them before I, uh, have to pick up Kaylee (whose school is in the total opposite direction). I have car seats in my car.
House Dad: Ok, that would be good. Cause, like I said, I don't have any seats.
Me: All right. Well, let me let you go and I'll work it out.
House Dad: Thanks!
We hang up. I immediately call Chris, who is waiting at the counselor's office....at this point the session has already gone 20 minutes over, and explain my situation. Chris quickly reminds me that I won't have enough seats in the van for all the kids. I attempt do the math in my head (I was never really good at math), while trying to put shoes on a wiggly 13 month old, and realize that I am 1 seat short.
"Oh my goodness, you're right! Maybe the house mom can get the kids after her appointment."
So, Chris gets off the phone and calls the house parents back, who don't answer. Then, thinking fast on his feet (another post about his Super Dad skills will be published, soon) he quickly calls our case manager who agrees to get the kids from head start, since she goes there to pick up her daughter, every afternoon, anyway. She just has to stop by our van to pick up a booster seat of ours.
Chris calls me back with the news. I am relieved, and quickly load up the 4 yr old and 13 month old to go get our 5 yr old.
Just when you thought the madness was over.....
We arrived home to this scene in our play room: One 2 yr old, 1 3 yr old, 1 4 yr old with toys, games, and books scattered every where. ADD my 4 yr old, my 5 yr old, and my 13 month old to the mix. Yeah, we are our own day care center.
As if that wasn't enough, my case manager (who is also one of our administrators) nonchalantly says to me, "Oh, since I'm here, I'll do a quick walk-through to make sure we're all set for the state inspection, this Friday."
WHAT?!
Are you kidding me?!
Are you serious?!
You're joking, right?!
My calm, matter-of-fact reply was this, "Well, you're welcome to, but those boxes over there (how could she miss them?!) are from the food bank order we're still trying to put away. But all the major stuff should be ok." (more on preparing for state inspections, later)
"Oh yeah, I totally understand, " she says as she makes her way into our living room, and the rest of the house.
Let's note a few things, here:
1.) There are 6 children in my overturned play room, right now, all under the ages of 6, one of which is screaming and 2 of which are fighting over a toy.
2.) My husband has still not returned from the counseling appointment and it is now 3:30pm.
3.) My kitchen looks like a tornado blew through it and I want nothing more than to at least "organize the chaos."
4.) My case manager, who has graciously gotten us through the "rough" part of our afternoon, and incidentally won the title of "Jessica's BFF," has surprised us with an impromptu "inspection" at the most in-opportune time of the day/week/month/year. She is no longer my BFF, that's for sure!
5.) My husband is STILL NOT HOME and it's now 3:33pm!
At this point, all I want to do is grab my kids, my car keys, my wallet, drive to the farthest CFA I can find, order lots of nuggets and Polynesian sauce, and forget this day ever happened.
Instead, I smile, calm the screamers, mediate the fights, and try not to look at my watch.
........it's 3:37pm, by the way.........
After my no-longer BFF leaves, I force out a, "Thank you so much for your help," and my husband returns (at 3:45pm, mind you). Things start to go back to "normal." Our oldest 2 got home, attitudes and all. The kitchen eventually, though not totally non begrudgingly, got cleaned up. Dinner was cooked and served, even if the main course was ravioli from a can. Kids were fed, bathed, and tucked in. The house was put back into some semblance of an order, and Chris and I fell into bed with a giant THUD, where we slept and slept and forgot all about the crazy day we just survived.
.....................until a child called out for us at 1:30 in the morning..............
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