Over the past few weeks, my family and I have been progressing through each and every home video we have made since Kaylee was born. We have over 20 video tapes and almost 6 years of footage. I have laughed, cried, reminisced, and ached for times gone by. Oh, to hear Sweet Kaylee "read" Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" just one more time in her precious 2-year-old voice! Or to snuggle up next to a pale-faced, newborn Christopher and breathe in the sweet aroma of milk-and-honey baby skin! What I wouldn't give to relive every snow day, every Christmas, every birthday, every first smile, first giggle, first step, and every other "camera-worthy moment," a la The Bittner Family.
The years have gone by much too fast, indeed.
I am so thankful for the time the Lord has granted me to be Chris's wife, and Mommy to Kaylee and Christopher. I don't always feel that way, so it's good to have a few minutes to pop in a home movie, every now and then, and be reminded of what a treasure my family truly is.
In doing so, this is what I want to teach Kaylee and Christopher about TIME:
Don't Waste It.
Every moment is a gift from God. A unique, specially-wrapped present just for you. Only you can remove the decorative paper and ribbon to reveal what extraordinary treat the Lord has hand-picked for you to enjoy.
Time, though it has seasons, is not a seasonal gift.
You can't store it on the top shelf of your closet to be "used when the occasion arises." It is not like a piece of machinery or cookware that only has 1 specific purpose, and is not always needed. No, time is like the very air we breathe. It reminds us of our existence. Our vulnerability. Our mortality.
Find hobbies you enjoy doing, people to whom you enjoy talking, sites you enjoy viewing, and books you enjoy reading, and spend some time doing, talking, viewing, and reading. Don't take TIME for granted, thinking it will always be there "when you're ready to put it to good use," and waste it on fleeting, futile excursions that will return void.
We received our video camera as a wedding present from Chris's brother, Shawn. Yes, we registered for a video camera. This was one of those "Idoubtanyonewillgetthisforusbutwe'restillgonnaaskforitanyway" kind of gifts. We owe many, enormous thanks and standing ovations to our dear, sweet, wonderful Shawn Bittner, of whom we could not only never thank enough for just being himself, but for also buying us a video camera almost 7 years ago. :) (tehee)
But really. Thank you.
Can you imagine what watching home movies would be like, today, if we had decided to simply tuck that video camera away for "just the right moment?" Sure, we might have a few Christmases or birthdays, but I can guarantee you that much of our lives would have gone undocumented.
I wouldn't have captured cute, 6 month old Christopher bouncing in circles in his jumparoo, which made us all laugh hysterically and him only jump more.
I wouldn't have remembered every detail of the way Kaylee skipped, glided, and tippy-toed across the floor at her 2011 ballet recital, and how beautiful and angelic she looked doing it.
I know I would've forgotten about the time Chris insisted on skimboarding in the ankle-deep puddles the Mississippi monsoons made in our front yard, Fall of '09. Actually, I might've remembered, but would've tried to block out the fact that, for a Northern boy, he truly is a bit hillbilly at heart. :)
Our home movies are a collection of how we spent our time over the past 6 years with the people we loved, doing the things we loved, and enjoying every minute. Not a minute was wasted, and if I could've taped every second, I would've.
Don't Hoard It.
Every moment is a gift from God that is meant to be shared. Time is not something to keep to yourself, for only you to enjoy. Yes, invite people in. Give your time to organizations, causes, and PEOPLE that matter to you.
Take the time to ask how someone's day is going, and really LISTEN to the response.
Take the time to RESEARCH the facts before developing your opinions and beliefs.
Take the time to DELIGHT in all that is good.
Take the time to COMBAT that which is negative.
Take the time to ADVOCATE for change, while still being able to APPRECIATE what you have.
Take the time to HEAL, to GROW, to LEARN, and to LOVE.
Perhaps, this is not what this phrase means, at all. What we really mean to say is
GIVE THE TIME TO: listen, research, delight, combat, advocate, appreciate, heal, grow, learn, love.
I love watching an episode of the Bittner Family Reality Show and seeing the faces of the foster children we have loved, through the years. Remembering the struggles, the pain, the joy, and the happiness of those young lives always makes my soul rejoice. Knowing that the Lord saw it right that we should be a part of their healing and growth humbles me to my core. Seeing on camera how Kaylee and Christopher respond to these children, accepting them as their own siblings, loving them, making memories with them, reminds me of God's beautiful design for the family....piecing together all personalities, traits, and characteristics to make one beautiful picture. One beautiful family.
I am thankful that He allowed us to share some of our 6 years with them, and that He is continuing to allow us those opportunities, today.
For it is in the giving that we are truly receiving. And He blesses us, daily.
Don't Forfeit It.
Every moment is a gift from God that is meant to be shared, but not to be thrown away. Not all gift boxes are the same size. Not all gift bags are huge. The Lord gives each person his/her own gift of time, and yours may be bigger than mine. You may have more moments, days, weeks, months, years in your package than I do. Don't cast any of your time off as if you don't need it, want it, or appreciate it. Relish in the time you have. Be grateful for the time you have. Some only get a few precious days on earth, while others might be given more than 100 years. Though we cannot know the sum of anyone's time, or our own, we must take what we are given and spend it wisely.
Just this past month, alone, I have received news of several friends, associates, and people that I am only minutely acquainted with, losing loved ones to death.
A father who lost his year-long battle with cancer just 2 weeks, ago.
A family whose 2 small boys were swept away by a river's current, just 2 days ago.
A precious little lady, whom I only meant long enough to describe what kind of homemade blanket Christopher would like best on his birthday, passed suddenly to due health reasons, 3 months ago.
A young man taking a fatal fall at work, last week, leaving behind his widow and 3 month old son.
While we weep for those who have suffered loss, and pray peace and healing in the days to come, we rejoice with those who are also celebrating life.
Newborn babies wrapped in pink or blue blankets at the hospital.
New litters of puppies, kittens, calves, and ponies.
Friends and family members accepting Christ and becoming new creations.
Birthdays for grandfathers turning 92.
We have one, brief video of Chris's paternal grandparents that always makes me tear up when I watch it. In it, they are both on the back deck at Chris's Clermont home in Florida. Grandpa Mel is seated in the far right corner with his hand in the pocket of his kaki pants, smiling that handsome smile of his, while Grandma Jan cradles a 3 week old baby Christopher in her lap. They both speak in their Northern accents, make comments about the weather, and Grandma Jan even prompts Christopher's oldest cousin (he was 2 at the time) to, "Give kisses to the baby." What is so precious about this priceless family moment is the celebration of new life with Christopher's birth, only months before Grandpa Mel went Home to be with the Lord in Heaven. Of course, we didn't know it at the time, but Grandma Jan would only be with us for a few short years after that, as well.
I am so glad my husband was thoughtful enough to capture this moment on film so we could tell the story of Grandpa and Grandma Bittner to Kaylee and Christopher, who only knew them briefly.
We do not know the hours or days we are given, so we must hold tight to time and praise God for every second.
Don't Decline It.
Every moment is a gift from God that is meant to be shared, but not to be thrown away or refused. The next time a friend asks you to go out for a cup of coffee, clear your schedule and go. The next time your mom asks you to come over for dinner, throw together a quick dessert and get over there! The next time your spouse asks you to snuggle with him/her, by all means, snuggle! Recognize the people, places, things in your life--but especially the people!--that long to share their gift of time with you, and willingly receive it. You may never get this moment back. Seize it with all your might!
Turn off the TV!
Step away from the computer!
Leave your phone in the car!
Put down that book!
The chores can wait!
One of the things we video-taped more than anything else, over the last 6 years, is just time together with each other, with family. Sweaty afternoons at the park. Cold days in the snow. "Just Dance" marathons on New Years Day, 2010, with cousins. Grandparent's Day Weekend with Chris's family. Making gingerbread houses, cookies, homemade pizzas. Easter egg hunting at Mimi and Poppy's house for the first time. All special moments of time shared and time received. Moments that might not have seemed extremely spectacular at the time, and may not mean anything to anyone else, but they are memories that will always be special. Not because of what we did, but because we agreed upon one thing:
Time is precious, and this moment deserves our precious time.
What a gift Chris and I have been able to give our children, these past few weeks. What a gift we have given ourselves! Not many people get to see themselves on film as babies, relive fun memories of bounce houses and playdates as toddlers, or rewind their proudest moments over and over again, remembering every happiness, every tear, every minute as if it all just happened yesterday. As a mom, I thought I had committed enough to memory over the years, but my heart could not contain it all.
Time is so vast, so expansive, so grand. But it is ours for the taking. The treasuring.
To hold dear to your heart.
Kaylee and Christopher, hold your time dear to your heart. And while you're at it, hold those who are dear, to your heart, as well. I know I sure am!
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